He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize