That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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