My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
where am i from again
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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