My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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