Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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