Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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