There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
