And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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