I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
