Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
The ass gains better be worth it
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