I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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