Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
this is an emotional support booty call
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
