he shaved USA in his pubs
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
