Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
