This girl is more easily done than said...
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
