If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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