she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
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I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
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I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
His nipple licking is glorious
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