How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
