now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
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He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
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The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
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