Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
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I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
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So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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