it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
