we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
two words...techno handjob
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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