Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize