ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Someone signed my nipple.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
