i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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