so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
