last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
