please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
