goodnight i made you a song goodbye
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
