I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
