then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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