The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
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