i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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