Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
