I think I died a long time ago.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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