About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
