i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
