I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
