i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
