his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
You made out with two different species that night
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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