You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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