Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
