he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
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