Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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