I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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