If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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