I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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