Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize