I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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