someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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