I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
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From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
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I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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