awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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