it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
