guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
