What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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