i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
This is classic penis vs brain.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
