handjob tips. give me some.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
