Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
