And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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